I am going to tell you a secret. I learned about it in college and use it with my clients. It is incredibly easy but life changing. So take those resolutions and throw them out. Why you ask? Because resolutions are goals but with unrealistic ways of achieving them. I will use weight loss as an example.
You want to lose weight, let’s say 40 pounds. But you want to do it by March. First off that is over 13 pounds a month. The recommended weekly loss is 1/2 to 2 pounds a week. Even losing 2 pounds a week, you are at 24 pounds. But you try and after a few weeks, it is not working. What is the first thing you do? Negative self-talk- why did you fail? What is wrong with you?
Then you beat yourself up- Why did you even try, you always fail. Look at Sally, she succeeded but you are not good enough.
After enough of that, you can become depressed and sometimes if bad enough it can cause death.
Let me help you to shift out of it with just a few simple questions. Again we will use diet as an example.
You try and it doesn’t work- well the first thing is to not say TRY, it means to fail in your subconscious. Want to see what I mean? Try not to think of a purple elephant. Guess what? You thought of a purple elephant. So get rid of try and replace with ATTEMPT. You are attempting to lose 40 pounds. A few weeks go by and it did not work.
Stop before you start the negative self-talk.
Instead, replace with the question- What did I do right? Maybe you drank more water or exercised more. I do not care how small it is, use it.
Then ask yourself- What can I do differently?- instead of pledging to workout 4 hours a day, start out small like a 15-minute walk and build from there. It is all about setting realistic goals.
Then make a new plan and reattempt.
You just shifted the half empty glass reality and are now living the half full glass. But really it is refillable. Life is about experiences and lessons. Are you going to get them right every time? Of course not but if you practice a little self-love and compassion it will make life so much easier.